This portrait is a little paradoxical.
I felt like I needed to make an image where I was smiling. (You're welcome, Mom.) My life is pretty great, filled with many wonderful and happy things. I've got a lot of amazing people around me - some have been there forever, some have been there a long time, and others have been there for a relatively short time in the grand scheme of things.
Unfortunately, there have been times where I've spewed out various amounts of complaining, either in the written text of this project or elsewhere; clearly that's such a downer to a person's attitude and overall outlook. What I'm seeing more and more, is that with this sort of demeanor, it really pushes people away - unintentionally, but it still drives them off nonetheless.
I've thought a lot about this, and I realize that I now know my reason for all of the griping: I really want people to see my point of view. I want people to agree with me that I have been "right" about some of my decisions, choices, or actions. So, if I complain about particular situations, what someone else might have done, or grumble about this or that or whatever, then in my mind it helps justify the concept of "wow, jim was right all along!"
And here's what it comes down to: that entire thought process really doesn't work. To go a big step farther: none of that matters anyway. Sure, we want the people closest to us to be supportive and in agreement with us. Sometimes, that just isn't the case, though. If a person needs others people to verify that they've done is right or wrong, then that person is - in my opinion - pretty needy. I don't think anyone wants to be that way; sometimes it just happens. But we can make a change.
#155 March 24, 2011, Pen
Sounds: Bad Brains, Bad Brains
Here's where the paradox comes in. Although I really wanted to make a "happy picture," I've explained before how difficult it is to maintain a smile for the length of time it takes to make a portrait. A smile causes everything on the face to change, from the eyes and nose, to certain wrinkles that appear, to the overall shape of the face. So, I actually appear to be smirking a little more than smiling (I'm sorry, Mom.).
It might not have helped matters that I chose a very raw, aggressive punk CD for the sounds during this drawing...