Day 349

I've wanted to do one like this for quite awhile, but I just haven't made myself do it.

My Drawing students and I share a regular joke about my love of shadows. I don't know what it is, but I am absolutely captivated by the effects of light and how it can create dazzling effects with darkness within a composition. For my money, a good shadow within an artwork can turn something that's merely medicore into something outstanding.

I am particularly fond of the extreme light and darks in the paintings of Caravaggio. (The term for this is chiaroscuro, and for the record, it's a damned fun word to say out loud!) I'm pretty pleased with the great contrast that I got in today's self-portrait. As a bit of a preview, this is what I plan to incorporate into my painting style as well.

#349 October 4, 2011,  Charcoal on brown paper bag

Day 339

It seems like it's been awhile since I've done several of the things that are present in this self-portrait.

I love working in charcoal, which I haven't done for several days.

I love working on colored papar, especially on an ordinary brown paper bag. (The texture is fabulous!)

And Katey asked me to do a self-portrait that was more realistic because some of her favorites throughout this entire project were those that favored realism.

I suppose I can go one step farther and mention that it's obvious on which days I've had more time to make my self-portrait. That's been one thing that should have been predictable when I originally started this project...yet it wasn't. Don't get me wrong: I have still been relatively pleased with all of my artworks, even the vast majority of those on days where I didn't have a large amount of time to devote to art-making. But I really think that in the beginning I expected to be able to work for an extended period of time each day. And regrettably, it didn't work out that way.

But I have made some pretty significant changes in my lifestyle over the past few weeks and have committed to a re-focus toward the things that are truly important (while abandoning those that are utterly meaningless)...and it has made a world of difference. I feel a sense of renewal to be as productive as I have been, and I have no doubt that I will fight like hell to keep the momentum going...

#339 September 24, 2011,  Charcoal on brown paper bag

Day 312

I've gotta admit, this drawing came out exactly as I had planned. I know myself and my drawing style well enough to appreciate the rarity of that occurrence.

It has been awhile since I've worked in charcoal, and it felt good to use it again. While I won't say that it's my favorite drawing medium (because it's not really), I should point out that just like any other material, it becomes much easier to control with continued practice.

#312 August 28, 2011,  Charcoal
Sounds:  Metallica, Death Magnetic

Day 302

A friend who is a fellow art instructor told me tonight that she had been sharing this project with her students, and had used it as a teaching tool while they did their own self-portraits. This is not the first time I've been told this, and each time I hear it, I am so very moved. Of course, I'm proud of the project on a personal level (okay, more some days than others!) but it's pretty wonderful to inspire other people to make their own art as well!!

She said that her students really seemed to like the "freakier" self-portraits, such as the ones where I don't have eyes. I figured since I've focused on them several times lately, this would be a good opportunity to place a bit of an emphasis on my eyes by de-emphasizing them this time around.

Plus, I've gotta agree with those kids: I really love the freaky ones too!

#302 August 18, 2011,  Charcoal on brown paper bag
Sounds: The Beatles, The Beatles (The White Album)

Day 298

For as long I can remember, I've been drawn to imagery that does something to a person's eyes. I am especially drawn to various forms of blindness or loss of eyesight. Of course, this can come in many ways: closed eyes, blindfolds, covered eyes, actual physical blindness, the list goes on.

In a sense, I suppose a shroud of mystery surrounds a person who cannot or chooses not to see what's around them. As for me, I tend to wonder what the person is thinking or the circumstances that cause them to look inward. When it comes to my art, it should be no surprise that I love keeping it a secret!

(As an aside, I'll point out that this self-portrait was made on a brown paper grocery bag. As I was cropping the image, I noticed the word "HUSKY" stamped on the bag and thought it would be fun to leave it!)

#298 August 14, 2011,  Ebony pencil and charcoal on brown paper bag
Sounds:  Ryan Adams, Gold

Day 247

It's been awhile since I've used charcoal and an eraser, and I've missed it just a little. In many ways, it's similar to this drawing on Day 243 where I started with a charcoal-toned illustration board and painted the lighter areas in with white acrylic. 

I'm sure I'll come back to this style once or twice again before this is all over with...

#247 June 24, 2011,  Charcoal

Day 243

I had a conversation with a buddy today. He's also an artist and we were discussing how difficult it is to actually make art; rather, we talked about how hard it is to squeeze art-making into our already packed schedules.

I shared with him a realization I had a few years ago, but hadn't ever actually found a way to implement it. At that time, it occurred to me that the reason I was able to be prolific with art-making while in college was because - in part - I had due dates in order to complete projects.  At the time, I actually tried to make this happen, but without any real motivation (in this case, a grade), there was nothing to keep me from altering the "due date" at my personal convenience.

As we spoke, it became clear that this entire project is - among many other things - a daily due date over a year's time.  Most of the time I look forward to making my self-portrait each day, but sometimes it truly is nothing more than an obligation.  But making the artwork available to the world each day has built in the motivation to never try to put off the completion of each day's portrait until tomorrow..or the next day...or the next.  And that has made a world of difference in my output as an artist.

#243 June 20, 2011, Charcoal and acrylic on illustration board

Day 230

I think I've made it clear up to this point that I don't need for a self-portrait to be a "mirror image" of myself in order for it to be successful. I believe that a portrait can include such a wide variety of representations of a person that their physical likeness is completely unnecessary.

Then again, there are times when it's nice for the self-portrait to look like me; tonight is one of those times. There's a certain point in the creation of most artworks where I can tell that it's going to work. That precise moment is totally unpredictable and happens only when it's ready. Frankly, it didn't take long for that to happen tonight; I knew everything was clicking and this would be a nice artwork.

#230 June 7, 2011,  Charcoal

Day 183

Over the past couple days, I have continued to include the birds, but I've noticed a change. The blackbirds haven't been appearing in an ominous way; rather, they are merely a "presence" - neither good nor bad.

It occurs to me that when a person really notices their surroundings, among other things they will usually find birds sitting on power lines. And at a distance, all birds will generally appear to be black. Today's birds seem to be very calm and perhaps thoughtful (as indicated by the thought "circles" over their heads).  The telescoping form and the lines from my eye could represent the notion of paying attention to the small details that are often overlooked.

The "house forms" are a piece of symbolism that I have really liked for years, although I can't say I remember ever using them in an artwork before.  Most people would agree that they should feel safest in their own home, surrounded by the people and objects closest to them.  As with the previous days' drawings, I chose to let this image flow and I added details as they came to mind.  Perhaps in an unconscious way, the safety of the house forms is a reaction to how the birds are generally present in a threatening way.

For the record, I really like interpreting my artworks on the spot like this!

#183 April 21, 2011,  Charcoal, acrylic, pen, and Sharpie on illustration board

Day 182

This drawing is obviously a continuation of yesterday's process. A short explanation of how it's done: I covered a piece of illustration board with common flat white latex primer. Once it dried, I added charcoal, which I then rubbed down with a paper towel so it would have a smoother appearance but would better show the texture of the brushstrokes of primer. Then I used that same primer to paint in the lighter tones. Finally, I added the finishing touches with a red marking pen.

It should be noted that this process is a little challenging because it's difficult to paint in the light areas; whereas most people are used to drawing with a dark material on a light surface, this method involves painting with a light material on a dark surface. In other words, the artist has to think in reverse. And honestly, I love the challenge!

What does it mean, you ask?!  That's a good question.  My primary goal was to create an allegory illustrating the concept that when a person speaks, they usually expect things (other people) to listen.  In this case, the main character (who is myself) is speaking to the little black birds - they are all exactly the same and they have fallen in line as they receive the message.  But the white bird appears to have hatched a thought of his own  (pun was kind of intended...), and he might either persuade the others to follow his lead or simply continue marching to the beat of his own drum.

Everything that I just said was a lie. 

I made this self-portrait, having no idea what would come next or what any of it meant.  I was simply having fun making art!  The interpretation that I provided above was simply an interpretation that I literally created on the spot while typing the rest of this blog entry.  But hey, it works!

#182 April 20, 2011,  Charcoal, acrylic, and red marking pen on illustration board

Day 181

This self-portrait was a bit of a leap for me.

Despite the fact that many of the artworks in this project might tend to suggest otherwise, I've always found it difficult to work in an abstract manner. I'm more of a realist - perhaps the better term would be literalist - and creating imagery that has no clear meaning has always been a challenge.

Then I finally took the advice that I've given to students so many times over the years:

so what. 

It doesn't matter if anyone knows what an artwork means or not (they can always come up with their own interpretations anyway).  It doesn't even matter if I don't know what my artwork means (I can always figure it out later on).  What does matter is that I am making art.

Honestly, I love today's self-portrait.  And honestly, I have no idea what it means!  Perhaps I'll come to a conclusion about an interpretation for the drawing, but for now I'll simply find contentment in the fact that I was incredibly motivated during the drawing process and that I am very pleased with the end result.

#181 April 19, 2011, Charcoal, acrylic, and red marking pen on illustration board

Day 177

It's a very cliched statement, but the eyes truly are the windows to the soul.

Okay, that may be a little strong. What I do believe is that a person's eyes will reveal more about them than perhaps anything else. Sure, as human beings our other mannerisms tell a lot about what we're thinking or what our true emotions really are. But when we look at another person and actually communicate with them, we will generally look them in the eyes.

I have always been drawn to eyes. I love to look at them, and I love to draw them. The eyes are one of my favorite features of a woman; my gal has stunningly beautiful eyes and it's a very endearing characteristic.

This drawing came about as I was beginning to render a completely different idea for today's self-portrait. When I sat down in front of a magnifying make-up mirror, I noticed that when I sat at a distance from it, the space between my eyes disappeared. I found this intriquing and thought it might make a nice artwork for today.

#177 April 15, 2011,  Charcoal
Sounds: Ben Harper, Both Sides of the Gun

Day 122

Any time I go to the liquor store, I always ask for my purchase to be bagged because I know I'll get some new drawing paper!

So, I've had a couple days of semi-realistic self-portraits.  I think I want to break that trend when I work on my next one...

#122 February 19, 2011,  Charcoal on brown paper bag

Day 115

Unlike last night's drawing which had a plan from the beginning (although I didn't stick with it), I had absolutely no idea where tonight's self-portrait was going as I sat down to draw. I chose to use charcoal on brown paper bag, which has become a favorite of mine because of the great contrast that can be achieved. Furthermore, I really enjoy the rectangular format that is offered from a bag that fits a wine bottle!

This drawing is meant to be a bit of a peace offering, if only to myself. It seems that most of the drawings or paintings I make that include a blackbirds have a very confrontational feeling to them. I'll readily admit that usually this is my chosen effect - but not always. I like the expression on my face indicating that I'm still a bit wary of the bird's gesture. Perhaps the intentions of the bird are honorable, and perhaps it's merely a trick.

I've mentioned before that birds (especially black ones) are a very important aspect to my art. I think that their sometimes ominous image, in addition to the gift of flight and all of the various cultural symbolisms associated with birds, make them a very useful device for storytelling. In this instance, of course I will not reveal exactly what the bird represents to me. I think that it's much more important for you, the viewer, to determine what the bird means to you, and how it applies to your story.

#115 February 12, 2011,  Charcoal on brown paper bag
Sounds: Cross Canadian Ragweed,  Garage

Day 103

Here's how a stream-of-consciousness drawing happens: because I have worn my hair a little spiked over the past several days, I had the idea to portray myself with nails for my hair. As I was working on the drawing, my daughters started weighing in on what they thought it actually was: pencils, paint brushes, a tub of popcorn (yes, really), and a crown.

The drawing was happening, but it simply wasn't working for me. Honestly, I was feeling a little down about the entire drawing process tonight. So I went to what has become my #2 Stand-by: using charcoal on a brown paper bag that I carried a bottle of wine home in.

Based on the girls' interpretations, I re-visited an idea that that I technically already had, but has never seen reality until tonight: a floating crown directly over my head. I'm not sure I have any thoughts on what this self-portrait means, but I like the idea. I think I'll do another one with this theme again someday...

#103 January 31, 2011,  Charcoal on brown paper bag

Sounds: Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, Long After Dark

Day 93

I'm not sure that I want to use the cliched phrase that says the eyes are the windows to the soul.

However, I am fairly certain that I think that the eyes are person's most important feature. When it comes to deciphering a particular emotion, the eyes are a great indicator. For the most part, when we have a face to face conversation with someone, generally we look at the other person's eyes. And sometimes the eyes are tied to identity; we've all see the images of a bar placed over a person's eyes in an attempt to protect their anonymity.

I've always been drawn to eyes. I love to look at them, I love to draw them. Sometimes I've been told that my eyes are my best feature. I even have a tattoo on my shoulder depicting the Ancient Egyptian symbol of the Eye of Horus. Regardless, tonight's self-portrait is actually a portion of my image, but I think that it goes a long way toward capturing the real me.

So go ahead and call this the window to my soul if you like - I guess I don't really mind after all...

#93 January 21, 2011,  Charcoal on brown paper bag

Sounds: The Duhks, The Duhks

Day 83

This self-portrait is the product of an artist who has slept approximately two hours over the past 24. I sure miss the good old days when pulling an all-nighter was no problem. I also wish my lack of sleep had something to do with working into the early morning hours on my art...

(*Note: I'm not terribly pleased with the scan on this one. I think I need to give it another shot. I will say, however, that I really dig the sleepy glassy eyes!)

#83 January 11, 2011,  Charcoal on brown paper bag

Day 82

So . . .

Tonight I was really in the mood to do another acrylic painting on black paper. And I did one. And...it just wasn't me.

That's not to say that it isn't a good painting, because it is. And I have also not changed my stance that a self-portrait MUST look like the artist - because I still do not believe that it has to.

But even when my self-portraits don't actually resemble me, I generally like them because they still contain particular aspects of me. Tonight's acrylic painting had nothing to do with me - visually or metaphorically. So, I started again.

I really like to mix a variety of materials. While this one isn't a bizarre combination by any means, I really enjoy how the mediums all work together. And while the drawing also doesn't bear a striking resemblance to me, I think that it does represent me in many ways.

#82 January 10, 2011,  Sharpie and charcoal on brown paper bag
Sounds: Butch Walker & the Let's-Go-Out-Tonights,  The Rise & Fall of Butch Walker & The Let's-Go-Out-Tonites

Day 68

I haven't made a habit of giving titles to these self-portraits. Sure, most of them should just be called "Self-Portrait Number Whatever." On the other hand, some of them have had a pretty clear theme. That is the case with tonight's drawing.

Perhaps a good title for this one would be "The Spoken Word Filter." I think that every person alive has wished for a device of sorts that would allow them to make changes to what they said in certain situations. Maybe they wished to be more gentle and caring toward people close to them. Or perhaps they would choose their words - or the way they were spoken - just a little more carefully so there wasn't a misunderstanding or hurt feelings. And sometimes a person thinks of the exact thing they wish they had said long after the moment has passed.

I think that whenever this project is over with, I'll work on inventing a spoken word filter. I personally think there's a pretty good market for something like that...

#68 December 27, 2010,  Charcoal
Sounds: The Avett Brothers, Live, Volume 3

Day 57

The art of Rene Magritte is probably the single biggest influence on me as a painter. Not only do I borrow heavily from his style, but I also hold dear one of his personal philosophies about art-making: like Magritte, I generally refuse to give an interpretation of my art.

I once had a person sign the guestbook at one of my exhibitions; she mentioned which painting she particularly liked, and wrote what it meant to her. Frankly, I had to laugh because what she thought the painting represented literally could not have been farther from what the image actually meant to me! But then I got to thinking that this person had brought her own experiences, ideas, and beliefs to the artwork and these things had all led her to her own interpretation. For that reason, even though she didn't get my meaning, she was still not wrong with what it meant to her.

This is why I usually won't tell what an artwork is about; I like for the viewer to find their own meaning for each individual piece, rather than simply relying on me to TELL them what it is supposed to mean. And this drawing is no different...

#57 December 16, 2010,  Charcoal on brown paper bag
Sounds: Elvis Presley, Elv1s 30 #1 Hits