Day 358

Last night, Austin had a particular issue he was dealing with. He said, I think out of sheer frustration, "I just don't know what to say."

My response was maybe a bit of a shock to him, given my penchant for talking things to death: "Sometimes there's nothing that needs to be said."

#358 October 13, 2011,  Ballpoint pen

Day 356

I have no doubt of one of my worst traits: I tend to take on far more than I can accomplish in a normal day's time. This often makes for long days culminating with me collapsing into bed and falling asleep almost literally the moment my head hits the pillow. This was one of those nights, and this drawing was made only moments before sleep overtook me.

#356 October 11, 2011,  Ballpoint pen
Sounds:  The Civil Wars, Barton Hollow

Day 348

I can appreciate the symbolism of objects like doors, windows, ladders, or anything that could suggest some sort of transition or movement from one place to another. Of course, using the term transition can conger up several different thoughts or ideas as well.  Personally speaking, I think a person is quite irresponsible if they don't allow themself to continually be open to any available emotional, spiritual, or physical transformation.  The obvious caveat, of course, is that this change has to be for the better.  Change simply for the sake of change is rarely a good idea.

This self-portrait was yet another that I really enjoyed making during this entire project in the sense that the image planted itself in my mind, yet I didn't know what it meant to me until the moment I was making marks on the paper.  And as is also the case in many instances, I actually have two or three personal interpretations to this drawing.  While it's certainly not my best artwork, I really like what it means to me.

#348 October 3, 2011,  Ballpoint pen
Sounds: U2, No Line on the Horizon

Day 347

Traveling down I-55 through western Illinois, we couldn't help but notice a gigantic smokestack belching a huge plume of smoke into the sky of Springfield. Shana remarked that it appeared surreal in the way that the smoke was almost pure white, and one puff was immediately forced out by the next one, then the next, and so on.

Several thoughts come to mind as I type this regarding what today's self-portrait could mean. If it wasn't a self-portrait, I suppose the most logical interpretation would deal with how mankind deposits endless pollutants into the environment...and the ones responsible for the majority don't seem to be very remorseful about what they're doing to our planet.

But since it IS a self-portrait, then I think I'll just consider it to be a visual document of something I saw as I passed through the countryside...

#347 October 2, 2011,  Ballpoint pen
Sounds:  Butch Walker, Left of Self-Centered

Day 346

I'm finding myself very drawn to this self-portrait. Although it bears only a slight resemblance to me, I can appreciate the look of exhaustion I'm wearing in my eyes. I literally collapsed into a hotel chair and grabbed the first marking tool I could find - which turned out to be a ballpoint pen. This came after a marathon five-hour shopping experience in a mammoth furniture store, culminating with Shana and I loading a 12-foot trailer by ourselves in the dark (so much for staying open "until the last customer leaves" as we were told!).

But alas, we made our way to the best pizza place in the world (Giordano's Pizza, located in many locations all over the Chicago area!) and filled up on a fabulous deep dish and some great beers. So while I was pretty tired once I finally had a moment to sit down with my sketchbook, I would say that the day ended pretty nicely after all...

#346 October 1, 2011,  Ballpoint pen

Day 296

It's been awhile since I've used a red pen for my self-portrait. Throughout this project, I have made many discoveries about art materials - namely, I've found some that I didn't realize I would love using as much as I do.

I have been surprised at how much I enjoy working with a red ballpoint pen. I think that for me, the color is incredibly bold and can be symbolic in so many different ways. And frankly, the material simply handles in a way that I like.

#296 August 12, 2011,  Ballpoint pen

Day 279

I really like the doodle quality of today's self-portrait. It reminds me of the kind of art a person makes when they are aimlessly making marks while their mind is occupied with something else. In fact, I find it extremely interesting how the drawings a person makes in those situations can fairly accurately portray their emotional state.

In this case, however, I was consciously focusing on this drawing so I was aware of what I was doing. On the other hand, the swirls are pretty light-hearted, so they technically create a good representation of my mindset at the time...

#279 July 26, 2011,  Ballpoint pen on brown paper bag

Day 245

I have used a red ballpoint pen a small handful of times throughout this project, and I've gotta say that I am always happy with the results. I am also pleased with the fact that it's not a medium that I have overused because of the success I felt like I've had.

It was never actually a conscious decision to work in so many different styles, but it has been a pleasant by-product. In retrospect, it's quite obvious that a person would drive themselves nuts to work in the same style and same medium for 365 days straight! And besides, I really like mixing it up...

#245 June 22, 2011, Ballpoint pen

Day 218

This is what happens when a person mistakenly (ie. ignorantly!) believes the sun isn't that hot and subsequently doesn't use enough sunscreen on their chest and stomach.

YOWZA!!

#218 May 26, 2011,  Ink and ballpoint pen

Day 215

Upon looking back through the images in this project, I'm sure that viewers would find a small handful of self-portraits created with ordinary red ballpoint pen. I generally have these around to be used for grading school work, but I've also grown quite fond of using them to make drawings.

I'm also glad to see the blackbirds come back for a visit...they've been away for far too long...

#215 May 23, 2011,  Ballpoint pen

Day 212

Very simple and very quick this time. Nothing more to say...

#212 May 20, 2011,  Ballpoint pen

Day 201

This is another drawing made in a state of complete exhaustion. After several hours of yard work in the hot sun, pitching batting practice, and overall mental fatigue, I sat down to make today's self-portrait. It was a double whammy when I drew a complete blank regarding what the artwork would actually look like; I went from pencil to Sharpie to colored pencil and ultimately to ballpoint pen.

I will say, however, that I really like this drawing for some reason. While it's true that the proportions of my features are not accurate, the effect of the red linework is compelling to me. This is not the first drawing in this medium, it will not be the last...

#201 May 9, 2011,  Ballpoint pen
Sounds: Pearl Jam, rearviewmirror (Greatest Hits 1991-2003) (Disc 2)

Day 176

Well, it happened again.

I was watching a movie with Emma.
She fell asleep beside me on the sofa.
I decided to finish the movie.
You can guess what happened next.

I don't know for sure what caused me to wake up, but I sent her up to her bed around 3:00 am. As for myself, I grabbed my sketchbook and a red pen and sat down to draw. It's probably safe to say that this is the most tired I have ever been when making an artwork! And it shows on my face.

But as I sit down to write my blog entry the morning after, there's something that I really like about this drawing. It's very honest and very real to me. The drawing was made quickly in about five minutes, but it's a good likeness, not only of my physical characteristics, but also of my state of mind at the time the self-portrait was made.

#176 April 14, 2011,  Ballpoint pen

Day 174

One of Garth Brooks' earliest hits was a song called "Much Too Young (To Feel this Damn Old)".  There's no question that this thought was on my mind as I completed this drawing.

It amazes me how incredibly tired I have been lately.  Tonight I decided to watch a movie on TV.  I fell asleep on the sofa, only to wake up around 12:30 in the morning . . . self-portrait still needing to be completed.  The worst part of all is that I don't feel like I waste a lot of time, but each day before I know it, 8:00 pm, or 9:00 pm, or 10:00 pm has arrived.  Even worse yet is that I feel like I need a two hour nap every afternoon.

I sure hate this feeling.  As I approach a "milestone" birthday, I dread entering another decade with chronic fatigue.  Damn, I'm turning into something I don't want to be!

#174 April 12, 2011,  Pen and ballpoint pen

_____

Happy 11th Birthday to my daughter Emma!!
I love you, my sweet little chickadee!!

Day 143

To set the stage, I'll admit that I've been exceedingly tired over the past couple days. Once again, I had fallen asleep on the couch, only to wake up rather late at night realizing I needed to make my self-portrait.

It has been quite awhile since I've drawn with a plain ballpoint pen, but I can't really say that I was excited to use it. To be truthful, my exhaustion prevented any type of excitement at that moment! With that said, this is my favorite drawing from the past several days. The loose scribbled lines work well with the spontaneous nature that I was working with.

Once again, I found myself in a situation where, despite the circumstances, an artwork had to be made. In most situations in the past, I would've simply put it off until a later time, but this time the success of the project dictated what I must do. This reminds me of my chosen method of working for most of my life: with a deadline looming overhead like a dark cloud.

I would like to ease out of that mindset slightly, but on the other hand - as they say: "If it's not broken..."

#143 March 12, 2011,  Ballpoint pen

Day 53

I think it's funny the way the mind works.

While I was on hold on the phone earlier, I happened to glance across the room at the bookshelf. Among many other books, it held my collection of everything Kurt Vonnegut ever wrote, including my favorite book of all time, Bluebeard. Without even looking, I remembered the cover pictured a very colorful cowboy boot. And THAT . . . led me to this idea. Stream of consciousness at its finest!

And I would be lying if I didn't say that the style of this drawing didn't owe a great debt to the classic Lenny Bruce animated clip "Thank You Mask Man"...

#53 December 12, 2010,  Ballpoint pen
Sounds: Marty Robbins, Gunfighter Ballads & Trail Songs

Day 3

I think it's interesting how occasionally we start with one thing and it becomes something else. Today's drawing started simply as a few marks with a blue ballpoint pen on standard printer paper. One thing led to another and I quickly realized that I was doing this day's self-portrait!

It's probably important to note that I am a strong believer that a self-portrait does not have to be an exact likeness of the artist. I didn't use a mirror or photo reference to do this drawing, but it is most definitely me. A self portrait can be, as this entire project will demonstrate, any number of things...

#3 October 23, 2010,  Ballpoint pen on paper.