Over the past couple days, I've had some of those conversations that can make your head spin from the seemingly endless back and forth of insults, accusations, and excuses that can never come to any resolution. Essentially, one of the participants simply has to give up the fight and allow the other person to get the last word.
Over the past couple years, I've made several difficult choices. I'll admit that I should've done things differently and have made myself out to appear like a bit of a bad guy. I know that I didn't choose the best course and I am not proud of that part of my story. On the other hand, I know without a doubt that I have arrived at the destination where I should be and I have absolutely no regrets in that particular regard.
Ultimately, I know I was right.
Granted, being "right" is often just a matter of perspective. What is right for one person may not be for another. In fact, I think it's pretty obvious that in this world, just about anything and everything can be (and usually is) debated endlessly with both sides insisting that the other side is completely wrong.
So I have come to a realization: I've spent far too much time and effort trying to prove that I was right.
But the real realization is this: it really doesn't matter.
I know that I don't need any affirmation to prove or justify anything to myself. I know that there is and will be issues that arise from decisions that I have made. But what I've come to know is that with any choice that anyone makes, there will always be issues. The only difference is that we only seem predict positive outcomes when we try to defend what WE "would've done" if we were in the same boat.
The thing is, it should go without saying that no one can ever know all of the details about a situation except for those who were actually there and lived it. Unfortunately, most people will only get a small part of a story, attempt to fill in the blanks for themselves, and then draw their own conclusions in the belief that they know exactly what happened. That's a very sad reality about what we are as human beings.
So, in the quest to prove that I was right, I shared things that are - quite frankly - no one else's business. I can imagine that I've made some friends and family a little uncomfortable and uneasy with bits of information that "made my case." Yeah, there's a LOT more to my story than anyone knows, and I think deep down, everyone realizes that there are two sides to the story, as well as various versions of each truth. I'd like to apologize to those people for putting them in the middle of this situation. It's shouldn't be about taking sides; it's all about everyone moving on and living our lives to the fullest.
That's my sincere wish from this point on...
#274 July 21, 2011, Watercolor