Day 353

I'm happy to share a little bit more of a straight-forward self-portrait today. No themes. No morose expression. Egads, no birds!

I was relaxing on the sofa at the end of a long day. A cool breeze crept through the open window. My lady was cuddled up beside me with a book on her lap.  What better time to make the day's self-portrait?! So I grabbed an Ebony pencil and my sketchbook and had at it.

The somewhat somber expression on my face betrays my tiredness and the lateness of the hour.  But this was one of those drawings where everything clicked, and I knew from the beginning that I would be awfully pleased with the results...

#353 October 8, 2011,  Ebony pencil

Day 345

I love travel pictures.  Throughout this project, I've been so fortunate to make self-portraits on various vacations in St. Louis and Minneapolis/Wisconsin and even in Mexico.  It's always been a lot of fun, even though the quality of the image hasn't been the best at the time since I never have access to a scanner (taking a photograph never does the image justice!).

Today's self-portrait is a little unique, however.  This is the first of my self-portraits made in a moving vehicle on my way to a destination.  (Rest assured, I wasn't driving!)  The shape of the drawing is that of the mirror on the back side of the sun visor, and the loose line work is the result of, well, the movement of the vehicle on the highway somewhere in western Illinois. 

While it's certainly not my best drawing, it will always hold a lot of significance to me.  Perhaps it was the semi-uniqueness of the drawing.  Or maybe it's because we were on our way to see The Avett Brothers in what proved to be an amazing show in an incredible venue in Chicago.  Or perhaps it was because I had my wonderful lady by my side handling the driving duties.

I think it's most likely all of the above...

#345 September 30, 2011,  Ebony pencil
Sounds: Son Volt, Trace

Day 342

Near the beginning of this project, I made a prediction that I would use an Ebony pencil more than any other material. That hasn't exactly been the case, primarily because I fell in love with using both ink and pens; each of those have been my go-to mediums over the past several months.

With that said, I still say that the Ebony pencil is one of my favorite drawing materials. And it's a good thing: when it came time to make this self-portrait, I was not in the mood. I was tired and cranky and I had a headache. I can't really say that any of that changed once I started working, but miraculously, I perservered and finished with a drawing that I'm very happy with.

#342 September 27, 2011,  Ebony pencil

Day 315

We all have our bad days sometimes. Today was one of the worst.

The saddest reality is that I brought it all on myself.

The good thing that came from the entire day was that I really feel like I learned a lot about myself. Of course, I also find this to be a very strange concept. After all, I'm 40 years old - one would think that I'd know myself pretty well. And maybe those things weren't actually learned, but were things that I realized...or perhaps admitted...about who I am.

What I know is that there are elements to my personality - and my overall being - that I simply don't like. These are things that make me what I would call a bad person. They are traits that I consider completely unacceptable to continue.

Good news! After visiting with three different friends who provided advice from three very different points of view, I know how to make the changes I need to make. It feels incredibly empowering to know not only what I need to do, but to feel the sense of satisfaction to immediately put the wheels in motion for positive change. It sounds strange, but I can almost feel a transformation happening within myself...

#315 August 31, 2011,  Ebony pencil

Day 308

I had an idea where this drawing was going but - as is often the case - my plans changed. To be more specific, the original idea was for this drawing to be finished with pen. Now, I will admit that I would probably like the extreme darks that could be achieved with pen, and in the long run I'm sure I'd still be pleased with the outcome.

On the other hand, I wouldn't change any of the choices I made with this drawing. I won't go as far to say that it's one of my favorite self-portraits in this series, but I really like it. I like it a lot. And I look back with a smile at the exact moment that I decided to grab an Ebony pencil instead of that black pen. It made all the difference in the world when it comes to this drawing!

#308 August 24, 2011,  Ebony pencil

Day 298

For as long I can remember, I've been drawn to imagery that does something to a person's eyes. I am especially drawn to various forms of blindness or loss of eyesight. Of course, this can come in many ways: closed eyes, blindfolds, covered eyes, actual physical blindness, the list goes on.

In a sense, I suppose a shroud of mystery surrounds a person who cannot or chooses not to see what's around them. As for me, I tend to wonder what the person is thinking or the circumstances that cause them to look inward. When it comes to my art, it should be no surprise that I love keeping it a secret!

(As an aside, I'll point out that this self-portrait was made on a brown paper grocery bag. As I was cropping the image, I noticed the word "HUSKY" stamped on the bag and thought it would be fun to leave it!)

#298 August 14, 2011,  Ebony pencil and charcoal on brown paper bag
Sounds:  Ryan Adams, Gold

Day 287

I was pretty motivated to draw tonight. I'll admit that last night I wasn't terribly enthused, even though the finished drawing (actually it was more of a sketch) was kinda nice.

It seems like I've spent most of my time this summer doing the kind of work that involves lots of sweat and perserverance, either at our house or on paid jobs for others. And while it's very tiring, I love it. I love having the ability to do things that make people say "I wish I could do that!" And making art is no different.

Normally I tend to work very slow, but this drawing happened in less than a half hour. I love it when that happens! And I think it captured the mood pretty well: it was late at night so I was a little somber, but the quick and loose marks created a nice spontaneous feel.

#287 August 3, 2011,  Ebony pencil

Day 260

There are a couple things that influenced the appearance of today's self-portrait.

I read with great interest about the recent death of American artist Cy Twombly. Frankly, I know very little about the man and his art, but while I would never have claimed him as an influence or artistic "hero", I do find his work to be quite interesting. I've stated on numerous occasions that I love art which appears loose and aggressive, and Twombly's scribbles definitely fit into that category. Interestingly enough, while it's hard to see it in much of his work, Twombly held the classical art of the Ancient Greeks and Romans (and their successors, the artists of the Renaissance) in very high regard.

Conversely, I read an article last night that questioned the use of the word quality when judging an artwork. In other words: what exactly is quality, and who makes the decision whether anything (artwork or otherwise) meets the standard?  In most cases, quality in the visual arts is judged on the merits of the European (particularly Renaissance) model of what is good and what is not.  Obviously the art made in those cultures had a relevance to the societies that made them, but should they still be used to set the guidelines for the quality of today's art?

I found all of this fascinating.  Is today's self-portrait a quality work of art?  By many people's standards, it couldn't even be considered a self-portrait because it doesn't include my likeness.  But the aggressive marks, the use of color, and the words are all things I felt at the time I was making this artwork.  A common and probably overused phrase comes to mind: Don't judge a book by its cover.  In this instance, don't even look at the cover; just look at what's inside.

#260 July 7, 2011,  Ebony pencil and acrylic on paper

Day 246

As I contemplated sitting down to draw, a strange image filled my mind. I saw my hand holding an Ebony pencil forming a circle on a piece of drawing paper. I could even "hear" an amplified version of the sound of pencil scratching across the paper's surface.

When I sat down to draw, I decided to work without much thinking, to allow intuition to take hold. One circle became nearly one hundred, which stopped with a "break" to make some shading with a blending stump. Upon returning to the pencil, another series of lines created a second dominant circle inside the first. Facial features were hinted at, then refined for the actual portrait.

While I say that I worked without thinking, that's a bit of a simplification. When making art, artists have to make constant choices and decisions regarding their work. As I think back to the time of making this drawing, I can pinpoint several conscious decisions I had to make: more lines here, darker lines there, shading here, the face itself there...

#246 June 23, 2011,  Ebony pencil

Day 220

This self-portrait was made while sitting at Chicago O'Hare Airport, waiting for a connecting flight to Kansas City. We had an extended layover, so I decided to invest a little more time in today's drawing than I had during the previous days of vacation. Personally, I love it.

I know there are all sorts of possible interpretations for this image. Frankly, I have no idea what it means; it's just one of those things that maybe I'll figure out eventually. The idea came to me about a week ago, and I've let the thought percolate for a bit before actually putting it on paper. I feel like I waited just long enough...

#220 May 28, 2011,  Ebony pencil
Sounds: Son Volt,  Trace

Day 172

I had no idea where this drawing was going before I started it. I basically sat down in front of the mirror, and instead of making faces, I simply turned my head one way and then another until I arrived at this position.

It should be noted once again, that a somber expression does not alwas accurately indicate a person's mood, especially if the image is a self-portrait. This was a very fun drawing to make, though. I started it in the late afternoon, but was unable to return to it until around 10:30 tonight. Once the drawing was started, I had a general idea what I would do. Interestingly enough, it looks nothing like I had intended! I suppose that's what happens when you take a break from an artwork for several hours after completing only the bare bones of the portrait...

#172 April 10, 2011,  Ebony pencil
Sounds: Chris Whitley, Din of Ecstasy

Day 163

One of my favorite lines from a movie was spoken by Al Pacino in The Devil's Advocate.  He said:

"Vanity . . . definitely my favorite sin."

I know it goes without saying that my appearance has changed several times already throughout this project.  Over the course of the past 163 days, I've had a full beard, I've been clean-shaved, I've had a full beard again, and I've had a goatee.  (Day 30 gives a nice visual for my interest in looking different at times.)  Most of the time, it's been pretty obvious that my chin is populated primarily with gray whiskers. 

Since I've obviously always had an interest in changing my appearance every now and then, I decided to make a different kind of change.  With a box containing a product specifically designed to color coarse whisker hairs, I stood in front of a mirror using a brush not terribly unlike those I use to make oil paintings and spread a smelly concoction into my goatee.  The result is a color that closely resembles the hair on my head.  Nah, it's not permanent, but I think I'll run with it for now.  It's like I always say when someone has colored or cut their hair in a way that might be a little (or a lot) outisde the norm: it's just hair.  It can be cut or it can grow out.  But it can always be changed.

And like I said earlier:  "Vanity . . . definitely my favorite sin."

#163 April 1, 2011,  Ebony pencil (detail)

Sounds: Stone Sour, Audio Secrecy

#163 April 1, 2011,  Ebony pencil

Sounds: Stone Sour, Audio Secrecy

Day 156

There's a phrase that describes an attitude which I really dislike: "mailing it in."

The concept is that a person just does the bare minimum or maybe doesn't even try very hard to complete a task.

Last night I sat on the sofa. It was late and I was extremely tired. I kicked back, knowing full well that I would fall asleep. Unfortunately, I hadn't completed my self-portrait yet. I also knew that I would wake up at some point in the night, at which time I'd make my art. This happened at around 2:00 am.

Through tired eyes and and even more exhausted body, I sat down to draw. Less than ten minutes later, today's drawing was finished.

Without question, I mailed it in today.  I'm not happy about it.

#156 Match 25, 2011,  Ebony pencil

Day 119

This is my least favorite self-portrait in this series, and it has nothing to do with the image itself.

According to the old saying, "If you've got nothing nice to say..."

#119 February 16, 2011,  Ebony pencil

Day 114

This one did not ultimately end up where I had planned for it to go. My plan was to create an image that was more minimal, with bolder and harsher lines, and a lot less shading. While I think that this is a nice drawing, I am a little irritated for letting myself fall right back into my comfort zone when I had every intention of experimenting with a different style.

It's a strange trade-off: do a decent drawing, yet feel frustrated because it's not what it was supposed to be. I will defintely revisit my original idea...

#114 February 11, 2011,  Ebony pencil

Day 108

One definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over, but expecting a different result each time.

At first glance, this drawing appears to be very self-explanatory, especially when taken in consideration with the previous statement. But there are many possible interpretations to this artwork, and - as always - I certainly encourage a bit of pondering as to what it could mean to each individual.

It should also be noted that I think this self-portrait fits very well into the category of "sketches for jim's future paintings"...

#108 February 5, 2011,  Ebony pencil

Sounds: Patty Griffin, Impossible Dream

Day 107

I think most people tend to wear "masks" every so often. It's a semi-effective way to cope in times when it's easier to just accept a situation - in those times when a fight is either not worth the effort or would just only be counterproductive.

Other times we wear our masks for the benefit of others, in order to help them get through their own situation, or simply to protect them from something bad that might be lurking just beneath the surface. As a friend of mine says: "Fake it until you make it."

And simply enough, sometimes a mask is just a good way to hide our true feelings when we are trying to protect no one other than ourselves.

I'm going to be very honest: there are many ways to interpret today's self-portrait.  I think that a person would be taking the easy way out and completely missing the point if they just looked at this as nothing more than a picture of someone with a mask on...

#107 February 4, 2011,  Ebony pencil
Sounds:  Gin Blossoms,  Major Lodge Victory

Day 100

I decided to go back to the basics just a little for this drawing. Near the beginning of this project, I predicted that I would use Ebony pencil for the majority of the self-portraits. Little did I know that I would fall in love with using a pen and would spend a great deal of time with that medium.

The fact is, I still have a very strong interest in using the Ebony pencil. It always feels good to make a rich black mark, followed by a soft light tone - all with the same drawing tool! Incidentally, I always love revisiting the scribble technique as well...

By the way, it sure feels good to reach triple digits - Happy 100 Days!

#100 January 28, 2011,  Ebony pencil

Sounds: Emmylou Harris, At the Ryman

Day 95

I looked through some old sketchbooks today and was pleased to find several great ideas for paintings and drawings. My sketchbooks are a little strange, because they usually contain more writing than actual drawings. Interestingly enough, I write down the titles or the basic "storyline" for an artwork, but the image itself remains locked in my mind.

When the time comes to actually make the artwork, I generally take photographs for reference material - such as poses of human figures, composition of various elements, or just anything that will make the artwork more accurate. From these photos, I create a full-size sketch that is transferred to the canvas, panel, or paper. Then the physical part of the art-making begins.

In some cases, such as with tonight's drawing, I place actual props in front of me for that same visual reference. For example, I worked from a photo of myself to create the basic image, but placed my boots in this position in order to draw them correctly.

So what is this drawing all about? That's a good question, and I think my viewers know what my elusive answer will be!

#95 January 23, 2011,  Ebony pencil

Sounds: Butch Walker, Left of Self-Centered



Day 91

There is no denying that this drawing has some heavily borrowed elements.

For starters, the scribbled technique and strictly frontal viewpoint are reminiscent of drawings by Alberto Giacometti. This was a conscious choice that I made; I had the idea for what this self-portrait would look like for most of the day and it was always planned to be a bit of a tribute to his work. It's not fair to say that I'm a big fan of Giacometti's work, although I do enjoy it in most respects.

The second influence in this drawing happened quite by accident. This drawing began with a loose oval shape that became the head. The more the pencil moved, the more things were added (such as the elongated neck and the iris-less dark eyes), it became clear to me that my drawing was a visual marriage of the work of Giacometti and that of one of my favorite painters, Amedeo Modigliani.

All sorts of artists - from visual artists, musicians, writers, and so on - have their own favorites or those who shape their work. For my money, I really enjoy what happens when those influences creep in organically, without any preconceived notions or planning such as I did when I borrowed from Giacometti. Modigliani's style found its way into my drawing simply because I love his work, and I am moved by his style and subject matter.

#91 January 19, 2011,  Ebony pencil

Sounds: Linkin Park, Hybrid Theory